Kumquat

Growing up my neighbor had this delicious kumquat tree in her backyard. I would feed myself all day long on those tasty things. I moved away more than a decade ago but those little treats crossed my mind many times since then.

Driving home from Washington I found some in an Oregon Safeway of all places and I couldn't wait to get some for my kids to try. I didn't remember them being so rough looking but sometimes things are just different when you grow them yourself. I was so excited to see them again I popped one into my mouth as soon as I got into the car.

It tasted like an orange rind, not how I remembered at all. So I tried to peel it (which apparently you need to do) and discovered it is essentially a tiny, less satisfying orange. My children were about as unimpressed as I was.

It turns out my neighbor had a  LOQUAT tree which is not even the same family of fruits. These are the not 'quats' I'm looking for.

Throwback Thursday er Wednesday

Do you know what happens when you pay for a website but don't have it work for many months? You start writing (because it makes your heart happy) and then never add your pictures or publish your thoughts.

Going through my dashboard I have so many posts I started (or mostly finished) and then never had the motivation to finish it all the way.

It's time for me to get some of these up so I apologize as old things start popping up. I'll try to keep the history posts to only a few a week tops. With that said, let's time travel!

Lessons Unexpected

I was reminiscing today about how thankful I am for lessons I never knew I'd need. Not math or history but the life lessons you never want to need. 

When I was in high school my mother had complications that caused her to loose the ability to walk. She was told she'd never walk again (which awesomely ended not true) and ended up in a wheel chair for more than a year.

Both of us standing just two months ago

I remember when we'd go somewhere with wheelchair ramps (that always seemed to have crazy slopes) she'd come flying down them and grab a wheel to turn to a stop just as she reached the bottom. Passersby would usually panic thinking she'd lost control and was in need of help but she explained it that it was less painful on her arms to not try to control the decent when there were no pedestrians in the way. Seemed legit. And, it always provided me with a great deal of amusement, especially the day she did it towards a body of water. 

I thought it was great fun to play in her chair. Especially at places like dinner where'd she'd already be sitting at the table, I'd sit in her chair and if I ended up in someones way it was always more efficient for me to just get up out of the chair and move it. If I'm being honest I did this more for the hilarious reactions and less for the fun of sitting in the chair. 

There is the important skill of being able to get up curbs, over bumps,and whatnot and for that, those in a wheelchair for an extended amount of time learn the wheelie. More advanced is moving directions or spinning while in a wheelie, it's fun. I spent many months practicing it at home because I thought it was so fun (which most things are when you don't HAVE to use it). 

 When you pull it off in public most people seem to think you are about to plummet to injury. Although I was never in the chair in public needing this skill I saw plenty of people react to my mother.

Here I am some 20-something years and a freak accident later finding myself so grateful for my experience in wheelchairs and for public access to them in hotels and airports.  I needed the wheelchair, I didn't need to do the tricks but it sure made the chair a lot more fun.

So, to my previously severely handicapped mother: 

Thank you for teaching me how to use your chair while I pretended to be disabled because one day I would need these skills for real. Things like getting from a wheelchair to a toilet; turning the wheels in opposite directions to make tight corners without bumping your legs; and even how to get in things like bathtubs without the use of your legs (or at least one leg). 

I never knew I'd use these skills or even that it was a life lesson I was being taught but clearly I'm grateful for the knowledge now. 

Positive Spots

A few months ago my son (just turned two years old) had a spot on his back like a red mole. In just a months time the size increased drastically. Moles don't change. It took some time to get him into a dermatologist but when we finally did see one they decided with his age and the speed of growth it needed to be shaved off and tested.

Now I won't go into all of the details, but lets just say I will never go back to this doctor. My favorite moment was how they pulled the needle out with the numbing medication before instantly cutting his back- never letting the medication take effect. Maybe that's standard practice there, but that's not how I'd want to be treated so my job as mom is to protect my son.

When the results came in the office told me they were abnormal and they'd see me in a few months, nothing else. It took two days for our Primary Care Physician to get the results where he was able to inform me that my son has a Spitz Nevus.

It's bad, but it's not. A spitz nevus is a juvenile melanoma. My son will need surgery where they put him under so every last piece of it can be removed, usually with a laser. Most doctors are not concerned as long as it is under 1cm in size. My son's was 8mm in just 6 weeks. Thankfully the new dermatologist we have has cleared a place in his schedule for us in just 2 weeks even though he's booked through December.

What I know is that he will have surgery. As a family, we will have to be more diligent with his protection from the sun; hats, sunblock, and being as covered as possible. It's hard being such outdoor people, but he loves hats and most of us burn so easy that sunblock isn't a new habit.

Am I scared? Absolutely, but mostly of his surgery. Anytime you are put under anesthesia alarms me. I've avoided it for 31 years yet here my little boy will have it before he even starts school.

Am I grateful? More than I can express.

I was blessed with an opportunity to go to a cystic fibrosis fundraiser just days before getting these results. If you have no idea what it is a quick google search can open your heart. If you want to be really touched, read the story about 65 roses and the optimism they have.
I have it easy as does my son. He'll need to wear hats and use sunscreen. Breathing should never be a struggle for him, at least not from this. I'm so grateful for this realization.

So, hug your babies no matter how old they are and count your blessings.

“The greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances.” 
― Martha Washington

Two and a Half Minutes

Thirteen months ago I decided I was over godaddy.com and should use a different company. While setting up the change (which was more complicated than I expected) I broke my website.
Boooo!

 I've tried to fix it a few times but there's been a LOT going on so I probably never tried hard enough.

 Finally, I looked up a specific youtube video for the company I own my domain through and two and a half minutes later I had my website up and running again.

 Perhaps I should have tried harder, sooner. That was $10 spent for a year of nothing and I wasn't even writing when I wanted to.

Lesson learned. All that matters now, is I'M BACK!

There's probably going to be a lot of catch up going on (because my year was amazing) and some new stuff too. Come along and enjoy the ride if you're still around.

Around the World in 14 Hours

I had the privilege of getting to cross another item off my bucket list. Before our cruise out of Miami, Cliff gave me the opportunity to spend one day in Disney World! *insert excited child-like scream here*

I got to choose the park but we both decided that Epcot was the least like Disneyland and the most worth it for us. The best part of Epcot is that it let us travel all over the world in just a day and without jetlag.

Cliff and I don't really have many pictures together so he humored me and posed (in Cliff fashion) with me in each country.

I chose each location for the countries based on if it was my favorite view of the country and if it wasn't crazy crowded (Norway's church was never devoid of people climbing the viking).

In just one day I got to experience 11 countries with my love. Disney Magic for the win!

Good Morning, Tampa

Sunrise from my balcony over Tampa

I experienced sunset in Los Angeles followed by sunrise in Tampa. I'm not sure what plane I was on flying to LAX, but it was so small! It made such terrible clanking noises whenever the pilots moved the wings or made changes to the jets I was just sure it was going to break apart in the air.

I'm not very big, and yet I felt so cramped in my seat I literally gave myself a pain in my neck. I was so excited to get on a 737 for the flight to Florida. You don't realize how great some amenities are until you don't have them. Thank you whoever designed the 737, you are a genius in my world.

Florida is like nothing I've experienced before.

Tampa is bigger and older than I expected, beautiful in its own right, but so different. I realize that after traveling to San Antonio I compare every city to it. San Antonio just seems so big, and new, and most importantly so efficient.

I've never been around marshland like what is here in Florida. I'm used to the green of trees, but not from so many palm trees and plants I don't think I've ever seen in real life.

Back home we are in one of the worst droughts I can remember and here there is just so much water all over the ground. There's a smell, not bad, but different from the pine, mountains, or farm smells I'm used to.

People have always told me the humidity hits you as soon as you walk outside and it does indeed punch you hard enough that you have no question as to where you are. However, I like it. It's one of the first times I've been in heat (anything over 70 is too hot in my world) that didn't make me want to crawl out of my skin and cry. The downside: heat rash seems so much easier to get in this weather.

U*Le*Le

I loved the restaurant we went to and it had such a beautiful story behind it. It was such a labor of love for the family that opened it. So much thought went into every bit of planning and trying to make it 'green'.

It seems in Tampa history, some 70 years or so before John Smith and Pocahontas, Ulele (the Tocabaga Chief's daughter) felt pity for some Spaniards and threw herself onto one of them so that her father would spare his life. The restaurant is named after the princess (and so are the nearby springs) and outside the building is this bronze statue that tells the story of how she saved the Spanish explorer from her people.

After an eight million dollar renovation the 1906 Water Works Building was transformed into the oldest restaurant in Tampa that we got the pleasure of eating at. The thought behind Ulele seems to be keeping all the ingredients organic and fresh from local family owned and independent companies. I really love when a modern convenience (like eating out) aims to keep the families in business and cares about you as a patron as much as the money (at least in illusion).
The menu is native-inspired using ingredients when they are available just like their ancestors did.  It kind of blew my mind how some of the ingredients are so casually listed: frog legs, alligator, quail, boar, venison, duck. Before doing my research I though it was like lox in New York and just what they eat here but it was more about using what is available. I have to say they make some delicious food. I enjoyed alligator hush puppies, charbroiled oysters, and duck bacon ice cream. I didn't know duck bacon was a thing either but it was tasty.

The coolest part of dinner was finding Cliff's wine namesake. We flew all the way across the country to discover that just a few hours south of us in our home state is a winery with his name. We would have had a glass but they were out so we'll have to obtain some when we get back home.

Words Hurt

Today, while driving to donate blood I pulled up next to a car with bright writing all over it. I noticed that all over the sides and back of the car were various ways of saying "Happy 19th Birthday". It was so colorful that I wanted (but didn't) to snap a picture of it to share with my husband. I looked at the driver (indeed the 19 year old) and smiled brightly at him.
I contemplated rolling down my window to tell him "happy birthday" personally since his windows were down but I didn't.

He didn't smile back. He didn't even look happy. He look hurt and sad, and perhaps a little lost inside himself.

Our light turned green and as I pulled in front of him to make my turn while he made a u-turn, I saw more writing on his car.

Bright red letter across his front window. They were low and BOLD but filled the entirety of the glass. A word someone put there so he wouldn't miss it.

Writing that he wouldn't be able to get away from especially while driving.

"FAGGOT".

Inside I wanted to cry. I can't explain why that word hurt me almost as if they were directed at me but they did.
I couldn't help but wonder if he thought I was smiling at him because I was glad someone would be so cruel.

When the world slaps you it's hard to remember that not everyone wants to hurt you.

I quickly tried to figure out if I could u-turn myself, find his car and clean his windshield with the water and wet wipes in my truck so that maybe he could forget such a horrid word. I tried to plan how to get him to follow me to the nearest car wash where I would buy him a clean slate so to speak. I wanted to hug him and tell him happy birthday and to not let one asshole ruin this special moment for him. I wanted to tell him he was beautiful and the people in his life were lucky to know him. I wanted to fix his unnecessary hurt even though there would be no way to do so.

It was a busy part of town. He was turning towards the freeways. He could be anywhere and I had very little chance of finding him by the time I changed directions.

I didn't try to find him. Maybe I should have, but common sense told me it would be a fruitless expedition. I didn't help him, and maybe I couldn't of, but I continue to hope and pray that someone was able to help him.

We should not be judged or punished or ridiculed for who we love, what we are, how we feel. We should not try to put others down just because we can.

I'm hurting because of the word on his car. I don't think I'm the only person who saw his car and felt the sharpness of that blade. It's been HOURS and I still feel it, I can only imagine how much it hurt that boy. It was his birthday! How could someone be so cruel to sully such a beautiful thing (like the nice messages on the rest of his car).

So, to the 19 year old in Rocklin I hope someone heard my prayer for you. I hope you heal. And I pray you have a long and happy life.

Words can hurt or heal. What did you do with YOUR words today?

Things Kids Say: May 2014

Sometimes I think we should get a dog, what do you think?
"No. Because it would poop and I'd have to pick it up"
~Bug

*Picking out magic cards*
I'm playing tree and death
~Bear

Things Kids Say: April 2014

*while describing a Warthog*
Like a cropduster; but deadly!
~Gator

Things Kids Say: March 2014

I can speak ner-shun.
You mean martian? 
Yea Marsha!
MARtian? 
Yes! Lerch-shun.
~Bug

Happy Cleo Patrick Day!
~Bug

*about her porcelain doll*
It's a look-it doll. Not a pay doll, a look-it.
~Bug

Is Daddy older than Grandma?
no honey.
I was thinking: Grandma is kind of old and Daddy is kind of old but Grandma is kin of skinny. Someday we're all going to be skinny
~Bug

I really want to see Frankenweener.
~Bear

I think that's a plane!!!! *sounding really bummed* No. It's not. It's a bird.
~Bug

(from October, oops)
When can I drive this car? I want to drive it!!!!!
~Bug

Things Kids Say: February 2014

Let's ask your daddy what semi stands for

"Semi means really big truck"
~Bug

"Do Santa's Elves die?"
~Bug

While helping her brother with the baby doll.

"Don't drop him like what happened to you."

~Bug

Sharks live in salt and water.

What's your brother doing?
"Riding a dragon"
~Bug

I told her earlier in the day I was running out of patience. 
"How many patience do you have left?"
~Bug

Things Kids Say: January 2014

while talking her down before a fit
Mom! I'm just trying to get my head together. 
~Bug

Can I eat my crummy crackers?
about a Nature Valley Granola Bar 

I see my girl hair. It's on my arm

~Bug

You can't marry your brother, or your sister. Or someone you just met.
~Bug

"We can see better in the dark because we have blue eyes"
~Bear

When asked to get dressed 

"My brains says don't do it, it's a trick!"

~Bug

Can you try to be a little more quiet please?

"I'm a kid. I can't do that"

~Bug

"(Moose) is so enchanted by his (favorite toy)."
~Bug

Things Kids Say: December 2013

"Why don't we have Netflix"
Because we don't pay for it anymore
"I can pay for it. I have money. I'm rich."
~Bug

"I can't wipe myself, it's too fluffy."
~Bug

"Those aren't really Christmas presents because they're from you not from Santa."
~Bear

"Razing off his hair"
~Bug

"When I grow up I'm going to be as normal as a mother "

~Bug

"I wonder what movie it is"

How do you know it's a movie 

"Because of its shape"
~Gator

"(Mom) got a new TV. It's an HD one!!"
Do you know what HD is?
"HD. Hot wired?"
~Bear

"Are we going to go eater hunting too?"
*at a Christmas party*
~Bug

Do you know what an octagon is?
"Yes. It's a crinkly circle."
~Bug

What's the first day of the month
"The second!"
~Bug

"My mom asked if you had grey hair. She says you should because you have a lot of kids."
~Gator

Things Kids Say: November.

Bug just asked her Daddy for help naming her mermaids. She had already turned down my name suggestions so as a joke he suggested Chlamydia and Sweet Sweet Syphilis. She loved it. Now my daughter is happy she has Chlamydia and Syphilis.

"Hmm. You're more good than I."
Ya, you're batshit crazy
(Fail for not editing this sooner. I don't remember this conversation but I'm sure it had something to do with Cliff)

Do you know where beans fall on the food pyramid?
"Yea. Fruit?"
~Bear

"Separated meat? Is that legal?!"
~Gator

"My eyes are sour"

~Bug

"I smell air pollution"
~Gator

"I had a bad dream. (Bear) stole my kitty blanket!"
~Bug

Talking about her little brother. 

"I'm a little bit the boss of him. Sorta."
~Bug 

"I've got my warm skin on"
~Bug

"What are we smoking?"
~Gator

"Don't change your name to earl. That's a girls name."
~Bug

Things Kids Say: October 2013

"Princesses try to look princess-y"
~Bug

*While looking at Disneyland pictures*
"Rapunzel when she smiles, kind of looks like (Gator and Bear's Mom)"
~Bug

"When I'm a mommy I'm not going to be mean. I'm just going to say you cant have that. I'm not going to be grumpy at all."
~Bug

how's dinner?
"It doesn't taste as good as I thought it was going to taste."
~Bug

"I like the texture but it doesn't taste very good. "

~Bug

"This is my hiking dress"
Bug

"I like his hair, it's kind of fuzzy and then bald on top"
~Bug

"What do I smell? It's like popcorn and poop mixed together."

"My sneeze is stuck."
 Why is it stuck.
"Because its hiding."

~Bug

"My nose hurts. My boogers are hard"
~Bug 

Ears

I realized something today: babies should be required to wear animal ear outfits. You just can't take them seriously. It makes baby fussiness so much easier to deal with. Instead of thinking 'aw man, I don't know what's wrong' it turns into: "awwww, he's so cute even when he cries! Let me hug you and kiss you again!". You don't believe me? Check this picture out. No way that is going to stress you out!

Things Kids Say: September 2013

"I was marshmallowing a s'more at Mamaws. I marshmallowed it over the fire"
~Bug

*talking about the sun*
"It's made of gas and..... burning stuff "

Bear

*While talking about her rocks name*

"I can't really say it I don't understand her name."

So why don't you give her a nickname you?

"Yes! How about Bugger. Like bugging people. Yes, her nickname is Bugger!"

~Bug

*said to Moose*

"You're a troll monster."

Not right now he's being good. 

"I know. He hasn't trolled yet."
~Bug

"What if our whole family lived in a tree in space. In an apple tree. Wouldn't it be funny?"
~Bug

"No body farted. I was just drinking. It was drink farting"
~Bug

*to Grandma about wearing make-up*
"You can recognize me by my shoes"
~Bug

Andy's Coming

It's the little things that make me smile.
Little things like walking downstairs to discover Moose's Woody doll, that I know I left on the ground, put neatly into a car seat by a sibling.
I don't even know which sibling did it and I don't care.
Right now, I'm just going to smile about how awesome my children are.