Two and a Half Minutes

Thirteen months ago I decided I was over godaddy.com and should use a different company. While setting up the change (which was more complicated than I expected) I broke my website.
Boooo!

 I've tried to fix it a few times but there's been a LOT going on so I probably never tried hard enough.

 Finally, I looked up a specific youtube video for the company I own my domain through and two and a half minutes later I had my website up and running again.

 Perhaps I should have tried harder, sooner. That was $10 spent for a year of nothing and I wasn't even writing when I wanted to.

Lesson learned. All that matters now, is I'M BACK!

There's probably going to be a lot of catch up going on (because my year was amazing) and some new stuff too. Come along and enjoy the ride if you're still around.

Around the World in 14 Hours

I had the privilege of getting to cross another item off my bucket list. Before our cruise out of Miami, Cliff gave me the opportunity to spend one day in Disney World! *insert excited child-like scream here*

I got to choose the park but we both decided that Epcot was the least like Disneyland and the most worth it for us. The best part of Epcot is that it let us travel all over the world in just a day and without jetlag.

Cliff and I don't really have many pictures together so he humored me and posed (in Cliff fashion) with me in each country.

I chose each location for the countries based on if it was my favorite view of the country and if it wasn't crazy crowded (Norway's church was never devoid of people climbing the viking).

In just one day I got to experience 11 countries with my love. Disney Magic for the win!

Good Morning, Tampa

Sunrise from my balcony over Tampa

I experienced sunset in Los Angeles followed by sunrise in Tampa. I'm not sure what plane I was on flying to LAX, but it was so small! It made such terrible clanking noises whenever the pilots moved the wings or made changes to the jets I was just sure it was going to break apart in the air.

I'm not very big, and yet I felt so cramped in my seat I literally gave myself a pain in my neck. I was so excited to get on a 737 for the flight to Florida. You don't realize how great some amenities are until you don't have them. Thank you whoever designed the 737, you are a genius in my world.

Florida is like nothing I've experienced before.

Tampa is bigger and older than I expected, beautiful in its own right, but so different. I realize that after traveling to San Antonio I compare every city to it. San Antonio just seems so big, and new, and most importantly so efficient.

I've never been around marshland like what is here in Florida. I'm used to the green of trees, but not from so many palm trees and plants I don't think I've ever seen in real life.

Back home we are in one of the worst droughts I can remember and here there is just so much water all over the ground. There's a smell, not bad, but different from the pine, mountains, or farm smells I'm used to.

People have always told me the humidity hits you as soon as you walk outside and it does indeed punch you hard enough that you have no question as to where you are. However, I like it. It's one of the first times I've been in heat (anything over 70 is too hot in my world) that didn't make me want to crawl out of my skin and cry. The downside: heat rash seems so much easier to get in this weather.

U*Le*Le

I loved the restaurant we went to and it had such a beautiful story behind it. It was such a labor of love for the family that opened it. So much thought went into every bit of planning and trying to make it 'green'.

It seems in Tampa history, some 70 years or so before John Smith and Pocahontas, Ulele (the Tocabaga Chief's daughter) felt pity for some Spaniards and threw herself onto one of them so that her father would spare his life. The restaurant is named after the princess (and so are the nearby springs) and outside the building is this bronze statue that tells the story of how she saved the Spanish explorer from her people.

After an eight million dollar renovation the 1906 Water Works Building was transformed into the oldest restaurant in Tampa that we got the pleasure of eating at. The thought behind Ulele seems to be keeping all the ingredients organic and fresh from local family owned and independent companies. I really love when a modern convenience (like eating out) aims to keep the families in business and cares about you as a patron as much as the money (at least in illusion).
The menu is native-inspired using ingredients when they are available just like their ancestors did.  It kind of blew my mind how some of the ingredients are so casually listed: frog legs, alligator, quail, boar, venison, duck. Before doing my research I though it was like lox in New York and just what they eat here but it was more about using what is available. I have to say they make some delicious food. I enjoyed alligator hush puppies, charbroiled oysters, and duck bacon ice cream. I didn't know duck bacon was a thing either but it was tasty.

The coolest part of dinner was finding Cliff's wine namesake. We flew all the way across the country to discover that just a few hours south of us in our home state is a winery with his name. We would have had a glass but they were out so we'll have to obtain some when we get back home.

Words Hurt

Today, while driving to donate blood I pulled up next to a car with bright writing all over it. I noticed that all over the sides and back of the car were various ways of saying "Happy 19th Birthday". It was so colorful that I wanted (but didn't) to snap a picture of it to share with my husband. I looked at the driver (indeed the 19 year old) and smiled brightly at him.
I contemplated rolling down my window to tell him "happy birthday" personally since his windows were down but I didn't.

He didn't smile back. He didn't even look happy. He look hurt and sad, and perhaps a little lost inside himself.

Our light turned green and as I pulled in front of him to make my turn while he made a u-turn, I saw more writing on his car.

Bright red letter across his front window. They were low and BOLD but filled the entirety of the glass. A word someone put there so he wouldn't miss it.

Writing that he wouldn't be able to get away from especially while driving.

"FAGGOT".

Inside I wanted to cry. I can't explain why that word hurt me almost as if they were directed at me but they did.
I couldn't help but wonder if he thought I was smiling at him because I was glad someone would be so cruel.

When the world slaps you it's hard to remember that not everyone wants to hurt you.

I quickly tried to figure out if I could u-turn myself, find his car and clean his windshield with the water and wet wipes in my truck so that maybe he could forget such a horrid word. I tried to plan how to get him to follow me to the nearest car wash where I would buy him a clean slate so to speak. I wanted to hug him and tell him happy birthday and to not let one asshole ruin this special moment for him. I wanted to tell him he was beautiful and the people in his life were lucky to know him. I wanted to fix his unnecessary hurt even though there would be no way to do so.

It was a busy part of town. He was turning towards the freeways. He could be anywhere and I had very little chance of finding him by the time I changed directions.

I didn't try to find him. Maybe I should have, but common sense told me it would be a fruitless expedition. I didn't help him, and maybe I couldn't of, but I continue to hope and pray that someone was able to help him.

We should not be judged or punished or ridiculed for who we love, what we are, how we feel. We should not try to put others down just because we can.

I'm hurting because of the word on his car. I don't think I'm the only person who saw his car and felt the sharpness of that blade. It's been HOURS and I still feel it, I can only imagine how much it hurt that boy. It was his birthday! How could someone be so cruel to sully such a beautiful thing (like the nice messages on the rest of his car).

So, to the 19 year old in Rocklin I hope someone heard my prayer for you. I hope you heal. And I pray you have a long and happy life.

Words can hurt or heal. What did you do with YOUR words today?

Things Kids Say: May 2014

Sometimes I think we should get a dog, what do you think?
"No. Because it would poop and I'd have to pick it up"
~Bug

*Picking out magic cards*
I'm playing tree and death
~Bear

Things Kids Say: April 2014

*while describing a Warthog*
Like a cropduster; but deadly!
~Gator

Things Kids Say: March 2014

I can speak ner-shun.
You mean martian? 
Yea Marsha!
MARtian? 
Yes! Lerch-shun.
~Bug

Happy Cleo Patrick Day!
~Bug

*about her porcelain doll*
It's a look-it doll. Not a pay doll, a look-it.
~Bug

Is Daddy older than Grandma?
no honey.
I was thinking: Grandma is kind of old and Daddy is kind of old but Grandma is kin of skinny. Someday we're all going to be skinny
~Bug

I really want to see Frankenweener.
~Bear

I think that's a plane!!!! *sounding really bummed* No. It's not. It's a bird.
~Bug

(from October, oops)
When can I drive this car? I want to drive it!!!!!
~Bug

Things Kids Say: February 2014

Let's ask your daddy what semi stands for

"Semi means really big truck"
~Bug

"Do Santa's Elves die?"
~Bug

While helping her brother with the baby doll.

"Don't drop him like what happened to you."

~Bug

Sharks live in salt and water.

What's your brother doing?
"Riding a dragon"
~Bug

I told her earlier in the day I was running out of patience. 
"How many patience do you have left?"
~Bug

Things Kids Say: January 2014

while talking her down before a fit
Mom! I'm just trying to get my head together. 
~Bug

Can I eat my crummy crackers?
about a Nature Valley Granola Bar 

I see my girl hair. It's on my arm

~Bug

You can't marry your brother, or your sister. Or someone you just met.
~Bug

"We can see better in the dark because we have blue eyes"
~Bear

When asked to get dressed 

"My brains says don't do it, it's a trick!"

~Bug

Can you try to be a little more quiet please?

"I'm a kid. I can't do that"

~Bug

"(Moose) is so enchanted by his (favorite toy)."
~Bug

Things Kids Say: December 2013

"Why don't we have Netflix"
Because we don't pay for it anymore
"I can pay for it. I have money. I'm rich."
~Bug

"I can't wipe myself, it's too fluffy."
~Bug

"Those aren't really Christmas presents because they're from you not from Santa."
~Bear

"Razing off his hair"
~Bug

"When I grow up I'm going to be as normal as a mother "

~Bug

"I wonder what movie it is"

How do you know it's a movie 

"Because of its shape"
~Gator

"(Mom) got a new TV. It's an HD one!!"
Do you know what HD is?
"HD. Hot wired?"
~Bear

"Are we going to go eater hunting too?"
*at a Christmas party*
~Bug

Do you know what an octagon is?
"Yes. It's a crinkly circle."
~Bug

What's the first day of the month
"The second!"
~Bug

"My mom asked if you had grey hair. She says you should because you have a lot of kids."
~Gator

Things Kids Say: November.

Bug just asked her Daddy for help naming her mermaids. She had already turned down my name suggestions so as a joke he suggested Chlamydia and Sweet Sweet Syphilis. She loved it. Now my daughter is happy she has Chlamydia and Syphilis.

"Hmm. You're more good than I."
Ya, you're batshit crazy
(Fail for not editing this sooner. I don't remember this conversation but I'm sure it had something to do with Cliff)

Do you know where beans fall on the food pyramid?
"Yea. Fruit?"
~Bear

"Separated meat? Is that legal?!"
~Gator

"My eyes are sour"

~Bug

"I smell air pollution"
~Gator

"I had a bad dream. (Bear) stole my kitty blanket!"
~Bug

Talking about her little brother. 

"I'm a little bit the boss of him. Sorta."
~Bug 

"I've got my warm skin on"
~Bug

"What are we smoking?"
~Gator

"Don't change your name to earl. That's a girls name."
~Bug

Things Kids Say: October 2013

"Princesses try to look princess-y"
~Bug

*While looking at Disneyland pictures*
"Rapunzel when she smiles, kind of looks like (Gator and Bear's Mom)"
~Bug

"When I'm a mommy I'm not going to be mean. I'm just going to say you cant have that. I'm not going to be grumpy at all."
~Bug

how's dinner?
"It doesn't taste as good as I thought it was going to taste."
~Bug

"I like the texture but it doesn't taste very good. "

~Bug

"This is my hiking dress"
Bug

"I like his hair, it's kind of fuzzy and then bald on top"
~Bug

"What do I smell? It's like popcorn and poop mixed together."

"My sneeze is stuck."
 Why is it stuck.
"Because its hiding."

~Bug

"My nose hurts. My boogers are hard"
~Bug 

Ears

I realized something today: babies should be required to wear animal ear outfits. You just can't take them seriously. It makes baby fussiness so much easier to deal with. Instead of thinking 'aw man, I don't know what's wrong' it turns into: "awwww, he's so cute even when he cries! Let me hug you and kiss you again!". You don't believe me? Check this picture out. No way that is going to stress you out!

Things Kids Say: September 2013

"I was marshmallowing a s'more at Mamaws. I marshmallowed it over the fire"
~Bug

*talking about the sun*
"It's made of gas and..... burning stuff "

Bear

*While talking about her rocks name*

"I can't really say it I don't understand her name."

So why don't you give her a nickname you?

"Yes! How about Bugger. Like bugging people. Yes, her nickname is Bugger!"

~Bug

*said to Moose*

"You're a troll monster."

Not right now he's being good. 

"I know. He hasn't trolled yet."
~Bug

"What if our whole family lived in a tree in space. In an apple tree. Wouldn't it be funny?"
~Bug

"No body farted. I was just drinking. It was drink farting"
~Bug

*to Grandma about wearing make-up*
"You can recognize me by my shoes"
~Bug

Andy's Coming

It's the little things that make me smile.
Little things like walking downstairs to discover Moose's Woody doll, that I know I left on the ground, put neatly into a car seat by a sibling.
I don't even know which sibling did it and I don't care.
Right now, I'm just going to smile about how awesome my children are.

Doing the Best I Can

I'm not against vaccines per se, but I am against so many in such a short period. For example; the first few rounds of my son's shots I spread out over a couple weeks instead of doing them all in a day. I for one don't like to medicate that much at one time, so if I wouldn't do it, why do it to my kids? Additionally, it bothers me that in just 4 years they have increased the recommended vaccines significantly. How can you tell me that my 12yo, my 8yo, and my 4yo are fine without these other 15 or so shots, but my newborn baby will not be okay without them.

To my kid free friends: this is all very 'weird' I admit. When I was planning a family I knew I would never co-sleep, my kids would never be spanked, I would follow anything my Dr. advised no matter what, and my kids would all be in preschool, and if I could arrange it, in charter PUBLIC schools.

Now, I'm a mommy. I watch children that were born to my friends at the same ages as my kids, come down with RARE cancers, autism, and other terrible illnesses. I do my best to get all facts and make the best choice for my children because they can't make this choice for themselves. I do everything in my Mommy power to make sure I do more good than harm, though it's easier said then done.

I experience schools that are so overwhelmed with students and test scores, they don't have time to actually teach, just force memorization for the standardized tests. There are good teachers out there, even great ones, but they are overwhelmed, outnumbered, and under appreciated. Students are being sent to school by parents (again, not all of them) too lazy to deal with raising their own kids. "It's too much work, let the teachers teach them what's wrong and right".
I am doing my best, to make sure my children have every opportunity to learn, to learn from life, not just tests, and to teach them what it is to be a good human, even if that makes them a minority

I may not have it all right, and I know I look like a tree hugging freak (lord knows I used to think it about others), but I am a baby wearing, co-sleeping, home schooling, real food growing mama who is doing the best that I know how. I know one day when you have kids you will do the same for your children, even if it's nothing like how I do it for mine.

We're Going to Disneyland

Or so I hope.
My mothers have been given the eminar to go to a eminar in southern eminar for work. What does that mean? Work will pay for the hotel and gas to drive there. My kids (or my oldest who still remembers visiting when he was little) frequently asks when we'll get to go. My response is usually when hell freezes over or something to that effect. For a family of 6 the cost is around two-grand not including gas or food. That's just to get in see the park and find somewhere to sleep. Um, I don't have that kind of money lying around.

Now, I would love to take all my kids to Disneyland every year because I do believe the magic is pretty incredible but it's not practical. I'm grateful the boys have been a couple times each before I was in their life and I myself have been once, but that trip was miserable so I don't count it much. Let me clarify, Disneyland was great, but one of my classmates stole all my cash before we got to the park so I spent the day hungry, begging for food, and annoyed at the situation. I did enjoy Pirates of the Caribbean and the magic that is the Peter Pan ride (that I tried to capture on film and realized it ruins some of the magic) but overall my memories are not great. Back to present time, my daughter is getting more and more interested in Princesses and we've been talking for at least a year about how we wish we could take her at this 'perfect' age. Why haven't we gone then? Time away from work, time away from school, scheduling conflicts with a two home family, money, and car issues. Enough hurdles for you?

Wow, I went off on a tangent.

Anyway, so my mothers are heading down to Southern California for this seminar and are planning to spend a day or two in the parks and enjoy a belated honeymoon of sorts. Fast forward to today, just about a week before they leave, and I find myself with an invite for Bug, Moose, and myself to take the remaining 3 seats in their car and the extra bed in their hotel. Um, free board and gas with the opportunity to let my daughter meet princesses? Um, count me in!

Oh yea, and they have discount prices for the actual park entrance! This may actually be totally possible. Now, just to figure out how to get the kids home from school everyday; what to eat while away with keeping on a budget; and how to pack for 3 people while only taking of the space of 2. Easy.

My husband is amazing. He agreed to pick up the kids on our days and their mother is going to take care of the rest of the time. I've done some research on how to cook meals in a hotel room and I'm bringing my Nuwave stove-top for anything that can't be made in a coffeepot. Luckily, I am well versed at budget meals on the go.

Huzzah! We're officially going to Disneyland!

Things Kids Say: August 2013

Don't hurt yourself.

"I didn't. I just need to squish it a little."
~Bug

To Mama:
"It's time to be quiet. I'm serious."

~Bug

"Where are we going." 

Home

"Good. I need more sleep."

~Bug

"How do you play paper cut scissors?"

~Bug

"What is that?"

A wind sock

"Does it tickle you?"

~Bug

After putting jewelry on me:

"What is on it?"

Dimonds

Looks closely at the stones

"Nope. They're circles!!!"

~Bug

grabbing mamaw's breasts
"These are your buttons. They don't have stuff in them. Mommy drank it all."
~Bug

"Will you buy this for me?"
Do you have money for it?
"I don't have enough money." 
~Bug

While waiting in line for a ride.
"Did you hear what they said? There's no eating or drinking or stuff."
~Bug

I need my Pool Suit!
~Bug

Sitting behind her little brother:
"I'll catch him if he goes backwards because I'm squishy."
~Bug

"I don't like the game where you eat your boogers." 
~Gator to Bug

"Can I give him his dirty bear? The one he gets on his face?"
~Bug talking about a fuzzy bear that 'sheds' when played with

Mouse Ears

I love so many things about Disneyland but oddly enough I think one of my favorite things is the personalization with mouse ears. I have to admit, I really want to buy a pair myself but I can't justify $20 for something I'll wear for 3 days or less. This trip is about Bug, not me and I don't need ears; I'm just going to admire the awesome variety walking around and secretly covet my favorite pair when I see it walk past me.

Secretly, part of my reason for not getting one for myself is because I feeling indecisive. Do I go for the headband style in my favorite color but obnoxious crown?

Perhaps the Pirate headband that is more my style and leaves room for any hairstyle but doesn't match any cloths I brought.

Or my favorite hat with all the right decorations and everything in my kind of style but not the right color? Now if only this hat came in burgundy...well actually I'm glad it's not in burgundy or purple because then I'd be $20 something poorer and then I'd have a hat to store in my closet that was only worn a couple times....

Funny enough the pull of the ears was too much for Bug as well. After just 2 days she decided she needed to spend her money on a set. Turns out I'm glad she chose and not me because I would have been wrong. It worked out perfectly for her, she picked a flowey princess headband.

It made her feel like she had magic Rapunzel hair. More Disney magic. I love this place