Soapy Mosquito

She loves to sing this song over and over and over again with her Daddy. Such a goofball and so cute. She knows all the verses, but sometimes she forgets. Usually we just let her choose what verse when making it the never ending song.

365 Day 77

I love it when we get to have dinner with our friends! Apparently their little one wasn't in the mood for my cooking and chose some Crayons instead. 

365 Day 76

Marinating enough chicken thighs to feed a small army. I love these old Tupperwares from my Vavo.  

365 Day 75

Lady Ryder drug her bean bag all the way upstairs just to have somewhere to sit in the bathroom (and point out invisible ants).

Even better, this is her posing for the camera. She did this face over and over and then giggled asking to see her picture. Can't say I get it, but it was pretty funny and I appreciate her ideas.

365 Day 74

Five brothers together on one last walk. May you rest in peace.

365 Day 73

I have no words to explain this picture, but it is dear to me. Lady Ryder didn't understand why Mama was sad, but she was tired from skipping her nap and wanted to play. I don't know what they spoke about in this time they spent together, but I was so grateful for the time it gave me to converse with other members of my family without having to chase Lady Ryder down. 

365 Day 72

I haven't felt very useful. I know everyone has been working really hard to ease the burden on others and to give a proper farewell to my late Uncle but there hasn't been much that I could help with. I do however have a useful talent and I was so grateful to be able to share it. 

Today, I drove out to my sister's house to assemble enough trays to feed 300 people with her. 

The weather has been beautiful all week and my drive was no exception.

365 Day 71

I have no motivation right now while I'm grieving. I wish I could find some, but luckily my family has been so understanding. Since we had no boys all week I didn't have to cook dinner and since today is the last day before they came back I took advantage of not having them for dinner. We did take out Chinese food. 

This has to be the oddest fortune I've ever seen. It still had it's lucky numbers and learn Chinese on the back, but this was being passed as our fortune. Not sure if we got cheated, or the best advice ever. 

The other fortune was more normal, it read "Every day is a new life to a wise man". 

365 Day 70

Another picture from yesterday of her reading the story to me and making sure I noticed mouse coloring with crayons.

365 Day 69

She loves this book right now. She already was familiar with all the stories before I got the treasury from the library and today she decided to read them to me.

365 Day 68

Back to reading our Mouse Cookies & More: A Treasury. She loves to color and thought it was so funny that mouse was coloring too

365 Day 67

Amazing view of the mountains today that brightened my spirits and put away my sorrow for a few hours. Somehow, I managed to snag the very last tickets to KNCI's Girl's Night Out.

365 Day 66

I spent the afternoon on the couch with my little one reading stories. She realized that mouse's family picture shows a family just like ours: Mama and Daddy, 2 brothers, and a sister.

365 Day 65

Looking for the silver lining: my favorite apples have returned to the store

Goodbye

This morning started out like any other morning. It was our last morning with the kids before they're off to their mothers house and everyone was in a great mood. I woke up energized, made lunches, and fed everyone breakfast with 15 minutes before we had to leave. This morning I chose to spend that time doing a quick check of facebook to see what the world was up to. This morning I thought everything was still right in the world. 


That's when I came across my cousin's post. Sweetest girl in the world living on the other side of the states. It was simple, to the point, and heartfelt. 

There's a new badass angel in heaven today. Semper Fi Uncle. 

I quickly scrolled through other family members' pages and saw no other mentions of my Uncle. That's when I picked up my phone and called my sister in a panic praying she was able to answer. 

"Hello". 

"Sis? What happened to our Uncle?!?!?!"

For the next 10 minutes, before I had to drive the boys to school, she explained to me what happened while I sat at my kitchen table sobbing. She told me why he went to the hospital and then how he finally passed, heavily medicated with morphine until his body shut down. She told about me how all the family was contacted to give them a chance to say their final goodbyes. The most important part, was that she told me that he went peacefully and he also got the blessing of being able to have a say in how he left this world and then say his last words.

I loved my Uncle, but more than that I love my Father (his older brother) and my cousin (his only child) who is more like a sister. When I was younger my Uncle lived with us and his daughter grew up with my older siblings like another one of the family. He is the first of 6 brothers to go, and for me the first death close to my heart in my adult life. My grandmother passed when I was 18 but I wasn't in an adult mind at that time. 

As I child I remember he was always cracking jokes, he could make anyone laugh. He was hard working, dedicated, and loved his family. Most importantly, I will remember how he always found the fun in life!

My heart aches from his passing, but more than that, I can't imagine the pain my beloved sister is going through trying to make it through the coming days and months. She is such an incredibly strong woman.  I've always looked up to her as such and I admire her as a mother. In so many ways, I hope one day I can have the strength, love, and wisdom I see in her.  

Uncle, you may be gone but you will certainly never be forgotten. I love you. 

Afterthought: You may think facebook is a terrible way to discover a death in the family, but I'm grateful for it. My cousin is a beautiful person and it couldn't of been a nicer post to read. My family did text my phone, but I didn't receive it until 10:30am the following day. One of the hazards of not having a real phone. 

Would I have gone to the hospital to pay my respects, of course. 

Would I have been able to keep myself together had I gone to the hospital? Most certainly not. 

Watching someone die is never pleasant and I'd like to think that 'missing' that was a blessing to me. I only have beautiful memories of my Uncle, I didn't have anything that I felt I needed to say to him before he left. 

Within this great pain is the beauty of all the love we share. 


Although the occasion is filled with sorrow, his passing is once again bringing our large family together and highlighting how blessed we all are. I find so much comfort knowing that my family always stands as a solid unit supporting each other (even from across the country). I love you all. 

365 Day 64

A relaxing Sunday at home playing board games on the phones. This was quite the loss.

365 Day 63

Taming the citrus in our backyard. I love my house! Soon we'll have three citrus trees restored to their full potential after the long period of neglect they suffered from the previous owners. 

Coffee Geek

Too much coffee and a new to me video game. I had to play until I didn't suck... 

or at least until I didn't suck so much  

365 Day 62

She wanted to ride her scooter outside like her brothers. She decided it was most fun when someone else pushed her while she stood on the scooter.

365 Day 61

She gets so serious about her school work. There was a song she made up to go with this activity too. Very cute morning.