Cain's Crossing

During the Queens Entrance to the fair I
noticed that they had owls!
They had falcons too but they had OWLS!

I kind of felt like this week just wouldn't end. It has not been one of my shining moments so I was very thankful that I had Cain's Crossing to look forward to today. I wasn't totally sure what to expect of a Renaissance Faire in Auburn but I figured we'd go in, nab some free food from our meal with the queen, get our fencing lesson (the main reason I wanted to go), and cut out all before it got too hot. As it turns out that was NOT how it was going to happen at all (much to my pleasurable surprise, not sure about Cliff's).

Gina, who showed us
around the faire
*Not my Pic or her current costume*

First of all, when we arrived the people at the ticket booth didn't know what to do about our auction paper so they told us to just enter the gate with it... the gentlemen at the gate wasn't comfortable with that and wanted to hear the ticket booth explain that it was okay for us to enter. This went back and forth for a little bit until the decided they needed someone of a higher power. During all this commotion Cliff managed to get inside anyway, while I got detained outside the gate waiting for the Queen to make entrance while they searched for the appropriate person who might know what to do with us or who we were.

See, I really am in the tower. Not much to photograph.
They took a picture of us though.

Our auction gift got us fair entrance, lunch, and a fencing lesson (why we really wanted to come). We didn't realize it would turn us into actual VIP but when the appropriate people all got contacted and confirmed our paper was legit they were quick to put special ribbon pins on us (because lanyards are so 21st century!) and began showing us around the fair in a very high class kind of way. I realized later after reading my auction paper that a guided VIP tour was part of the package. Score.

  *actual wordage: entrance and guided VIP tour of the shire; Repast with Her Most Gracious Majesty, Elizabeth R; and Introduction to the art of fencing for up to 6 people

We were allowed to enter the tower (only the captain of the guard is allowed up there) so they could take a picture of us (not much of one from my end) and walked us through the booths pointing out different interesting facts; the long-bowmen Germans and how obvious their codpieces were (to make up for other *ahem* shortcomings), how EVERYTHING in the fair is handmade, suggested shows, and more. We made a pass by the Queen (whom I had to curtsy for whenever I passed her-not that I mind, just strange in pants) and I figured I was getting a great close up chance. Boy, was that far away compared to my 'repast' with her where we literally rubbed elbows and broke bread together. 

Normally anytime I'm at any kind of fair I want to try the craziest fair food they have, in this case the giant turkey legs.  Instead, I had to convince Tasha to do it (who seems to have a love of fair food similar to my own) since I already had lunch plans with the queen. Excuse me, The Queen. Turnabout is fair play however because after mocking her attempt to de-flesh the giant leg she got to sit with Jared and the kids watching Cliff and I eat in the middle of the fair as passersby took pictures. Cliff again offered his flower to Jared.

Look how close I was to The Queen....
Oh wait, this is only the beginning 

Turns out our lunch with The Queen was literally WITH the queen. As in RIGHT next to her. And to think, I thought walking past her court was going to be a cool picture because I got so close! Cliff and I were literally IN her court, in many peoples snapshots, having a very delicious meal with her listening to her 'royal' harpist play period music for our entertainment. Weird at first, but not something you get to experience *especially not being in costume ourselves!*. The food was never ending trays of 'gifts from the town' and the very best was the quail from the falconers (and if they're to be believed actually hunted by the falcons as well). Several trays of sweets were brought out as well, when we had finished with our main meal. In * slightly changed* words of Mel Gibson "It's good to be the Queen".

Classic Guard Sleeping at his post

How true to character the actors all stay make it quite entertaining. Sir Robert Dudley (the main person besides Gina who conversed with us and was at the table during our meal) made sure to question us about why we would be so improper as to meet the queen with naked heads and me in my undergarments. He explained that when you meet The Queen you put your hat over your heart not for any sentimental reason, but so that your bugs don't get out (or The Queen have to see them). He then went on to tell us how the queen was displeased with him because he arranged amusement at the next stop of hundreds of small animals (piglets, kittens, puppies, gophers, and the such) to be lit on fire and hoisted into the sky. The Queen was not pleased by this idea at all and during our dinner (supper is the last meal) she explained what to do with all the extra animals (kittens taught to mouse, puppies trained to hunt, piglets to feed the poorest towns). 

The falconers visiting The Queen in her court

Our Fencing Instructor
*Not my picture*

During our meal the Danse Macabre Guild paraded through with upbeat music looking like skeletons with happy faces. I assumed it was a dance of the dead but we were informed that it was actually local villagers trying to ward off death from the Black Plague. They dress as though they are already dead & dance through the lanes so The Angel of Death will not visit. See, isn't learning fun?


At the end of our meal we were guided over to Diamond Rose Academie d'Armes for our fencing lesson. There were two instructors for Jared, Cliff, and myself and they taught us 4 of the 8 basic moves. It was very interesting to see how everything in fencing is done in little movements and how strength has nothing to do with it if you know how to move. 

Scottish Demonstration 

Our tour was insightful, our lunch was delicious, and our fencing lesson was fun, but the highlight of the day was our last event when we watched the Daredevil Chickens preform.

Cliff and I still had on our special ribbon flowers that marked us as some sort of VIP (whether or not this actually had any effect on why Cliff got chosen *repeatedly* I doubt it, but at the time, he was convinced of it-those of us watching knew he was chosen because he added to the comedy). There is video, but I have been informed that it actually deters from just how funny they (the chickens and Cliff) actually were.

However, even with our tasty lunch that was followed with our very fun (and much more difficult than expected) fencing lesson the best part was at the end of the day when we watched the Daredevil Chickens. Cliff and I still had on our special ribbon flowers that marked us as sponsors or something (whether or not this actually had any effect on why Cliff got chosen *repeatedly* I doubt it, but at the time, he was convinced of it- those of us watching knew he was chosen because he added to the comedy). There is video, but I have been informed that it actually deters from just how funny they (the chickens and Cliff) actually were.

The show started with the chicken wife (Attila the Hen) catching 3 rings thrown at her simultaneously and caught on her body. Then, the husband chicken chose a member from the audience to attempt the same thing, failure would result in shaming, and success would allow the show to begin. The audience member choice being Cliff. It took two tries, but Cliff did it with flair (the first time really was a bad throw, not a bad catch). When he completed the task he got to sit back down and watch as they selected a child from the audience so that they could make the child fly and land in a *small* net. And then came the fun part, they needed someone to hold that net to catch the child and they saw the best choice-Cliff! So he got dragged up there again.... and they didn't let him come back so easily after that.

Okay, it was so many shades of hilariousness and that's what makes the video so bad: I was laughing so hard and using a small picture camera several rows back, but I'm going to post it anyway. I still find it giggle worthy.

His first time up... you can see he actually tries while he's up there... all the more reason why he got chosen a second time

a bit longer, but the second bit (after he caught the 'flying' boy)

When the chickens finally released Cliff the second time he returned to his seat and tore of his flower pin, positive it was the reason he was selected. Apparently several people noticed this movement and after the show he had his own gaggle of followers (all ladies, probably single) complementing him on his great performance and asking how he got his flower pin that got him selected. 

If having to sit right next The Queen and be photographer throughout our lunch didn't convince him ren fairs are for fools, this probably did. 

We all had a great time and even Cliff was able to leave with a smile on his face, although I doubt he'll wear any special pins before watching a show that uses audience participation again. 

*I talk to much and if you know me then you already know I repeat myself-so you really shouldn't be surprised.