Goodbye

This morning started out like any other morning. It was our last morning with the kids before they're off to their mothers house and everyone was in a great mood. I woke up energized, made lunches, and fed everyone breakfast with 15 minutes before we had to leave. This morning I chose to spend that time doing a quick check of facebook to see what the world was up to. This morning I thought everything was still right in the world. 


That's when I came across my cousin's post. Sweetest girl in the world living on the other side of the states. It was simple, to the point, and heartfelt. 

There's a new badass angel in heaven today. Semper Fi Uncle. 

I quickly scrolled through other family members' pages and saw no other mentions of my Uncle. That's when I picked up my phone and called my sister in a panic praying she was able to answer. 

"Hello". 

"Sis? What happened to our Uncle?!?!?!"

For the next 10 minutes, before I had to drive the boys to school, she explained to me what happened while I sat at my kitchen table sobbing. She told me why he went to the hospital and then how he finally passed, heavily medicated with morphine until his body shut down. She told about me how all the family was contacted to give them a chance to say their final goodbyes. The most important part, was that she told me that he went peacefully and he also got the blessing of being able to have a say in how he left this world and then say his last words.

I loved my Uncle, but more than that I love my Father (his older brother) and my cousin (his only child) who is more like a sister. When I was younger my Uncle lived with us and his daughter grew up with my older siblings like another one of the family. He is the first of 6 brothers to go, and for me the first death close to my heart in my adult life. My grandmother passed when I was 18 but I wasn't in an adult mind at that time. 

As I child I remember he was always cracking jokes, he could make anyone laugh. He was hard working, dedicated, and loved his family. Most importantly, I will remember how he always found the fun in life!

My heart aches from his passing, but more than that, I can't imagine the pain my beloved sister is going through trying to make it through the coming days and months. She is such an incredibly strong woman.  I've always looked up to her as such and I admire her as a mother. In so many ways, I hope one day I can have the strength, love, and wisdom I see in her.  

Uncle, you may be gone but you will certainly never be forgotten. I love you. 

Afterthought: You may think facebook is a terrible way to discover a death in the family, but I'm grateful for it. My cousin is a beautiful person and it couldn't of been a nicer post to read. My family did text my phone, but I didn't receive it until 10:30am the following day. One of the hazards of not having a real phone. 

Would I have gone to the hospital to pay my respects, of course. 

Would I have been able to keep myself together had I gone to the hospital? Most certainly not. 

Watching someone die is never pleasant and I'd like to think that 'missing' that was a blessing to me. I only have beautiful memories of my Uncle, I didn't have anything that I felt I needed to say to him before he left. 

Within this great pain is the beauty of all the love we share. 


Although the occasion is filled with sorrow, his passing is once again bringing our large family together and highlighting how blessed we all are. I find so much comfort knowing that my family always stands as a solid unit supporting each other (even from across the country). I love you all.