Words Hurt

Today, while driving to donate blood I pulled up next to a car with bright writing all over it. I noticed that all over the sides and back of the car were various ways of saying "Happy 19th Birthday". It was so colorful that I wanted (but didn't) to snap a picture of it to share with my husband. I looked at the driver (indeed the 19 year old) and smiled brightly at him.
I contemplated rolling down my window to tell him "happy birthday" personally since his windows were down but I didn't.

He didn't smile back. He didn't even look happy. He look hurt and sad, and perhaps a little lost inside himself.

Our light turned green and as I pulled in front of him to make my turn while he made a u-turn, I saw more writing on his car.

Bright red letter across his front window. They were low and BOLD but filled the entirety of the glass. A word someone put there so he wouldn't miss it.

Writing that he wouldn't be able to get away from especially while driving.

"FAGGOT".

Inside I wanted to cry. I can't explain why that word hurt me almost as if they were directed at me but they did.
I couldn't help but wonder if he thought I was smiling at him because I was glad someone would be so cruel.

When the world slaps you it's hard to remember that not everyone wants to hurt you.

I quickly tried to figure out if I could u-turn myself, find his car and clean his windshield with the water and wet wipes in my truck so that maybe he could forget such a horrid word. I tried to plan how to get him to follow me to the nearest car wash where I would buy him a clean slate so to speak. I wanted to hug him and tell him happy birthday and to not let one asshole ruin this special moment for him. I wanted to tell him he was beautiful and the people in his life were lucky to know him. I wanted to fix his unnecessary hurt even though there would be no way to do so.

It was a busy part of town. He was turning towards the freeways. He could be anywhere and I had very little chance of finding him by the time I changed directions.

I didn't try to find him. Maybe I should have, but common sense told me it would be a fruitless expedition. I didn't help him, and maybe I couldn't of, but I continue to hope and pray that someone was able to help him.

We should not be judged or punished or ridiculed for who we love, what we are, how we feel. We should not try to put others down just because we can.

I'm hurting because of the word on his car. I don't think I'm the only person who saw his car and felt the sharpness of that blade. It's been HOURS and I still feel it, I can only imagine how much it hurt that boy. It was his birthday! How could someone be so cruel to sully such a beautiful thing (like the nice messages on the rest of his car).

So, to the 19 year old in Rocklin I hope someone heard my prayer for you. I hope you heal. And I pray you have a long and happy life.

Words can hurt or heal. What did you do with YOUR words today?

Things Kids Say: May 2014

Sometimes I think we should get a dog, what do you think?
"No. Because it would poop and I'd have to pick it up"
~Bug

*Picking out magic cards*
I'm playing tree and death
~Bear

Things Kids Say: April 2014

*while describing a Warthog*
Like a cropduster; but deadly!
~Gator

Things Kids Say: March 2014

I can speak ner-shun.
You mean martian? 
Yea Marsha!
MARtian? 
Yes! Lerch-shun.
~Bug

Happy Cleo Patrick Day!
~Bug

*about her porcelain doll*
It's a look-it doll. Not a pay doll, a look-it.
~Bug

Is Daddy older than Grandma?
no honey.
I was thinking: Grandma is kind of old and Daddy is kind of old but Grandma is kin of skinny. Someday we're all going to be skinny
~Bug

I really want to see Frankenweener.
~Bear

I think that's a plane!!!! *sounding really bummed* No. It's not. It's a bird.
~Bug

(from October, oops)
When can I drive this car? I want to drive it!!!!!
~Bug

Things Kids Say: February 2014

Let's ask your daddy what semi stands for

"Semi means really big truck"
~Bug

"Do Santa's Elves die?"
~Bug

While helping her brother with the baby doll.

"Don't drop him like what happened to you."

~Bug

Sharks live in salt and water.

What's your brother doing?
"Riding a dragon"
~Bug

I told her earlier in the day I was running out of patience. 
"How many patience do you have left?"
~Bug

Things Kids Say: January 2014

while talking her down before a fit
Mom! I'm just trying to get my head together. 
~Bug

Can I eat my crummy crackers?
about a Nature Valley Granola Bar 

I see my girl hair. It's on my arm

~Bug

You can't marry your brother, or your sister. Or someone you just met.
~Bug

"We can see better in the dark because we have blue eyes"
~Bear

When asked to get dressed 

"My brains says don't do it, it's a trick!"

~Bug

Can you try to be a little more quiet please?

"I'm a kid. I can't do that"

~Bug

"(Moose) is so enchanted by his (favorite toy)."
~Bug